I was asked by my friend and amazing Paranormal Romance Author MC Solaris to take part in her Summer of Love Season Instagram TV interviews to talk about essential oils for love. Here is a summary of what you need to know to get your limbic system involved in raising your libido. Make sure you tune in for the whole thing.
Before We Start
First of all, a couple of notes to avoid some of the comments I know will appear: essential oils can’t override a poor diet and lifestyle, but they can be great to help you change your mood and feelings in the now as a short term boost. But, if your libido has taken a nosedive, check out this post.
Secondly, whilst there are essential oils that are generally known to have specific properties, you limbic system may disagree. For example, whilst rose is one of the essential oils associated with love, romance and intimacy, if you smell it and only remember your grandmother’s rose perfume, it is unlikely the same aphrodisiac on you.
Which Essential Oils To Use For Love
For me, part of the joy of intimacy and love on an emotional and physical level is to tune in to what works for you and what feels good for you and essential oils are a great way to do that.
So, first of all, I recommend taking time to get to know some scents, maybe essential oils that you do have. Close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. When you are ready, open a bottle of essential oil up and take a sniff, then move it away from your nose.
What did it smell like to you? Woodsy, earthy, spicy, floral, citrussy, medicinal, grassy/herby? Or maybe descriptors like smooth, sweet, cloying, bright, or grounding fit better. Maybe you associate with colours better.
Does the smell stay the same from the first sniff or is there an after smell? This will change even more if applied topically to the skin (when diluted).
And how does this scent make you feel? Does it evoke any memories? I recommend with each essential oil you try, that you keep a diary of how it smelt to you and the effect it had on you.
So, next, we have what essential oils can you use for love. There are a few sections I want to cover before getting onto the aphrodisiacs as you may have other things you may need to think about.
First of all is self love, it is often said you can’t connect or love another unless you love yourself. So, my favourite oils for this are Bergamot, Bitter Orange (Neroli), Cypress, Jasmine, Patchouli, Rose, Sandalwood, Sweet Orange, and Ylang Ylang.
Next when we come to the libido, we need to make sure that we are not overly stressed as that is the biggest way to kill your mojo. Chamomile, Lavender and Patchouli can help with relaxation and distressing.
If your mood is down, peppermint and citrus oils such as sweet orange can be a great pick me up.
If your hormones are out of whack, well, first deal with the stress but then you need to deal with the underlying hormonal issues. Whilst I hate being general there are a few oils that are often recommended generally such as clary sage, geranium and rose. However, each hormonal imbalance does have various essential oils that can help such as myrrh can be great for the thyroid and vitex can help with progesterone to oestrogen ratio issues.
However, in some cases essential oils can make things better or worse, so if you are experimenting I recommend recording what you did in a diary and whether ti changed your health or feelings afterwards. That way you can figure it out for yourself.
A word of warning, if you are in a hetero-sexual relationship, then vitex may not be great for the male partner because it can lower testosterone. Other essential oils to avoid include camphor, hops and marjoram.
OK, so the essential oils that can act as an aphrodisiac are, clary sage, jasmine, lavender, rose, sandalwood, and ylang ylang. Sandalwood and especially ylang ylang seem to have the most *cough* dramatic aphrodisiac effect in my personal experience and listening to anecdotal evidence from others.
Sandalwood blends well with floral oils, citrus oils and frankincense. Ylang ylang blends well with citrus oils, geranium, sandalwood and vetiver (if you have the patience for it to drop out of the bottle).
Do I have a secret blend? You bet I do. OK, I will share it here but, beware, it has had some very potent effects on the couples I have shared it with.
Note: If you are using in a diffuser, then some diffusers do not need the carrier oil.
You could diffuse this blend, massage it onto yourself or massage it onto your partner. We are going to cover some reflexology applications.